I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness-- Jeremiah 3:3

Thursday, April 8, 2010

WHAT-IFS CLOGGING AND LETTING GO



Today, some dark foreboding is up this summer.

News of deaths of people known to me clog my consciousness. If it's not cancer, some have gone through freak accidents. I guess, everyone indeed is transient, no matter how definite plans are made. But despite this old truth, it is still earth-shaking to lose someone and worse, to see them go without the slightest warning--like my dog who I didn't even have time to say goodbye to.

The first days of my summer have started off in a mournful note. I am praying I get the best of news this year by far not only to equalize this dark sense of reality I am already yanked into but also to give my tear-drenched prayer some hint of light. It's tough to have no back-up plans but I have that tug in the heart that someone has--the man upstairs has.

For a while, it took me a long stuggle to finally let go of these doubts and all these "what-ifs." But in the end, it is faith in the one who is in control of the universe who actually sees things through whether man would like to take the credit to himself or not.

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