I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness-- Jeremiah 3:3

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Kang Vincent

Asa na gani tong
Nagliyok-liyok nga
Mga silaw sa asul
Mong langit?

Mao ba kadtong
Mga silawa
Ang mga bulak
Nga imong gibilin--
Mga bulak nga
Hangtod karon
Wa malarag?

Hain na man diay
Tong mga nagyamiid
Sa imong mga bulak?--
Mga bulak nga
Kaluha sa bulok sa mga
Nangumbitay sa
Kalangitan sa
Imong kagabhion.

Kanus-a ko
Kaha mahibalag
Ang imong kagabhion
Nga way kalainan
Sa bag-ong

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


How can today be smothered with blackness when God himself wrapped today and even the coldest yesterdays around His finger? It's amazing to be seemingly ambivalent today despite the biggest answered prayer being slapped right into my unbelieving face. I feel numbed by the many smudges of tragedies on my sleeves lately. I could have jumped up and down in a couch as melodramatically as Tom Cruise did in Oprah. Yes, it would have been more fitting to publish to the nosy public I am the new Cinderella. The fates have noticed my humble cries finally. But there are no "fates." They are but mythological creatures created by the human culture who would rather prefer to be scared or to be swept away by myths and romances. In all these things, it is God.

It is God indeed, all the more it would be fitting to pick up a megaphone and use it while I do my testimony plus the unceasing tears of joy coupled with lots of amens and praise the Lords. But unexpectedly, I have stayed silent. My mouth is heavy with praise, that's what seems to be the nearest explanation I can offer. There's too much to say. But the fact that finally God answers my prayers is too overwhelming for someone who has stayed in a desert. It's water at last. Right here in front of me, so crystal clear, shouting at me. THIS IS IT! Much like the first time, when I saw my daughter's nostril flared and mouth flew wide open gasping for air for the first time outside her comfort zone after 9 months. Hah, such a moment. It felt like I was the one who was in need of more oxygen. Until now, breathing is a miracle. My God is indeed my father. He has made me wait. The waiting was real. It was rough and stormy while I sat still. It was long. But now, I have stopped waiting. And it feels like all the pain in the waiting days have seemed to disappear. All of a sudden it feels like pain and waiting never took place at all.

God indeed is wise. How could I ever miss that. At the most perfect time, He kept his promise.

I am a regular teacher again!

Saturday, October 9, 2010


Revisiting an old place not only brings healing, but it also tunes you to the right frequency so to speak. I bumped into this realization lately. It happened when I came to smell the busy air once again in what used to be the hub of Cebuano shoppers and business, perhaps the oldest there is in the Visayas-- Colon.

Right now, the business there is not as promising as during my college days. In those days, Colon was the place to be to the bored and to the shopping freaks alike. These days, it has become the home of "ukay-ukay" industry. Call it the sunset of Colon if you please. I call it the dump site of Pinoy salvation. It's not meant to ridicule the hopeless state of affairs of Filipinos nowadays. It's both a comfort and a fixation of sort. It's a salvation to those who could not wade through department store racks of brand new clothes. It becomes a fixation, sort of like an addiction really, for men and women who are hooked in the blinding twirl of fashion and market brand names at a very affordable price. And yes, I should count myself in in this addiction. What with finding crispy Giordano shirt for just a matter of less than two hundred box or a pair of Nike shoes for my Kiny for just 80 pesos. Ahh, Colon and all its perks ( and don't forget the snatching spree every now and then, which definitely adds color to its history, I suppose).

But a few days ago, I was there and found something else. Or should I say "someone." I saw what looked like a two-year-old girl. She was there, in tattered dress with her family in the same fashion state. I guess they have made the hallway of that establishment as their bed space for their nightly rest and the murky ditch nearby as their bath tub. I watched the mother for a full half-hour feeding and then bathing her girl, obviously the youngest of her four under the rain while having her dip her toes in the ditch once in a while. I heard the oldest boy said, "Ma, I thought baby has a fever. Why bathe her?" And that question brought me into a momentary trance where I saw series of deaths of two-year-olds in our place due to dengue just days ago. I'd say, it has become a deadly epidemic in my neighborhood these days. And that fear and anxiety that wracked me up that instant made me stop and want to grab that girl from her seemingly uncaring mother. But what could I do, instead of doing that or even moving on to dig for another rare find, I went home, slumped myself, tear-drenched beside my sleeping 23-month old daughter.

I watched her sleeping soundlessly unmindful of what was happening with the other kids like her. I watched her. I still am. And I am resolved to stay that way.