I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness-- Jeremiah 3:3

Thursday, March 25, 2010

SOME PESKY RUCKUS



Ahh!The commotion that stress stirs. It's just so annoying. Not to mention the toxin it injects to the bloodstream of any vulnerable individual. From there this becomes evident in the coarseness of the skin, in the hollow of the eyes. I could sink with the eye socket you know, and bury myself into those facial muscles every time I have to see my poor little pale self in the mirror. A picture of a loser, I must say.

The night last night poisoned me. I even thought of lying there and not waking up for work. It is just too much of a drag lately. Last night was the last straw. It went beyond my border called IGNORING if not PATIENCE.

As always, it was about money. Or better yet, the lack of money. My mother went berserk for I gave her only 1,800 for this week when she expected 2K from me. Yes, P200 off, and she went to underworld and spewed lava at her eldest daughter, making me think the way I used to as a kid, that the P200 pesos is worth more than the scratch in her poor little daughter's heart.

Well, what can I do. Since time immemorial, she'd rather romance with the money she could get despite the difficulties even her little business has gone through. At the expense of her family, that is.

Yes, I'm yammering it all out. This keyboard and monitor will have to bear the brunt of my exasperation. See, I can't stand watching myself in the mirror in this nasty horrid ugliness, with all these silly eye bags popping out for crying out loud.

My husband had joined the fray, which made the whole thing worse. It poked the old wound of having to stay a little longer in his in-law's house for the sake of his beloved wife and work. If only, then he would have left me and his daughter just to have his own peace in his own territory.

I died at the mere thought of it.

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