I die each time I see a child suffers in the damp streets, homeless, cold, and hungry. I even question God at times when I see news on TV of babies die just because adults do not have time to care. It makes me cry. Literally.
It might just be hormones. But really, when I became a mother, I started seeing every child as an extension of my little daughter. When these little kiddos writhe in pain on TV or in the streets, I feel it's my daughter needing some mommies to rescue them from the cruelty they're in. Perhaps, this is what it's like when a woman becomes a mother. Wherever she goes, her tendency, if not her instinct, is to reach out for her offspring.
A few days ago, I cringe in pain watching the news of a baby who was not even a day old, whose head was fortuitously detached after being given birth by the unconscious mother. I was fuming mad at the doctor that time. Even now as I think of it, I couldn't imagine how someone like the physician who is divinely tasked to take care of lives could have been so unmindful of what just transpired to a young life. And, he said he had no choice but to cut the baby's head, or else, the mother would die? There are procedures before going through it--he could have at least informed the husband what was about to transpire.
I also hear news of babies getting trapped in a burning building, forgotten by panic-stricken adults; children of 2 to 5 years old getting drowned in the flood while helpless parents watched as they go away with the unrelenting current; three-year-olds or so could be seen wasting away of dengue, and more. I would never want to question God's ways. Even in my unspoken queries like "Why does God allow young children suffer and die like this," Why are stone-hearted people and downright real guilty mafias remained unpunished at the expense of innocent kids," I look to Him who sees the bigger picture.
Because in all these questions that I'm tempted to lobby at God, I am reminded of the Scripture verse,"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9).
In the grander scheme of things, I know God sees and arranges things in the universe in ways man has no hand of. And in this harsh existence, man always, always, has a prerogative in life--to be mean or to do otherwise. Man, in all these quandaries, has an option. In times when it's difficult to find order in all these cruelty, I think of God's wisdom and His good heart. I may not find it in varied dark colors and facades that I see on TV, but I know it's there somewhere.
I can only be angry for lives that were snuffed out so soon. I can be indignant for the many little Kinys that I see around me. But I know that God feels and reaches out to these little angels. And who knows, unknown to me and unknown to any mortal, He was there all along carrying their lifeless bodies holding their little hands as their frail little souls slowly leave from their cursed disintegrating flesh. And He was just right there guiding them, leading them to His home somewhere beyond the blue.
Even with this thought, I still cry. I still pain in the inside for these little lives the world has missed out. So soon.
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