I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness-- Jeremiah 3:3

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

AROUND HIS FINGERS


How can today be smothered with blackness when God himself wrapped today and even the coldest yesterdays around His finger? It's amazing to be seemingly ambivalent today despite the biggest answered prayer being slapped right into my unbelieving face. I feel numbed by the many smudges of tragedies on my sleeves lately. I could have jumped up and down in a couch as melodramatically as Tom Cruise did in Oprah. Yes, it would have been more fitting to publish to the nosy public I am the new Cinderella. The fates have noticed my humble cries finally. But there are no "fates." They are but mythological creatures created by the human culture who would rather prefer to be scared or to be swept away by myths and romances. In all these things, it is God.

It is God indeed, all the more it would be fitting to pick up a megaphone and use it while I do my testimony plus the unceasing tears of joy coupled with lots of amens and praise the Lords. But unexpectedly, I have stayed silent. My mouth is heavy with praise, that's what seems to be the nearest explanation I can offer. There's too much to say. But the fact that finally God answers my prayers is too overwhelming for someone who has stayed in a desert. It's water at last. Right here in front of me, so crystal clear, shouting at me. THIS IS IT! Much like the first time, when I saw my daughter's nostril flared and mouth flew wide open gasping for air for the first time outside her comfort zone after 9 months. Hah, such a moment. It felt like I was the one who was in need of more oxygen. Until now, breathing is a miracle. My God is indeed my father. He has made me wait. The waiting was real. It was rough and stormy while I sat still. It was long. But now, I have stopped waiting. And it feels like all the pain in the waiting days have seemed to disappear. All of a sudden it feels like pain and waiting never took place at all.

God indeed is wise. How could I ever miss that. At the most perfect time, He kept his promise.

I am a regular teacher again!

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