God does love me.
Truly, there are good reasons why
some unlikely changes have to take place in my life. To a human who in his vantage point is
capable of looking at things in his capacity as a rational being will naturally
repel to the idea that goes against what is normally comfortable to him.
There are moments I get to feel
small when I begin to compare myself with my other colleagues who have stayed
well-compensated in a place where I used to hug as my work hall while I’m here
in a small corner of a public school earning just barely enough for a family of
three. But moments like these are my
unguarded times where I am free to spill my bare humanity to my creator, who
while listening to my confused cries, remains understanding. And in his seeming
silence, I deem it best that right after crying I remain in the posture of
waiting and trusting. I would not say
this comes easy. It’s a long journey in the desert, I tell you. I have no other means of surviving but
through this.
And then all of a sudden, the old
dreams that I dreamed came all at once not in drizzles but in torrents at a
time when I don’t expect them.
I always thought for a dream to
come true I have to have the cash, the connections and the courage. I don’t
have the three, especially the third one. But now that I’m a Journalism teacher
in an institution where I’m only content to work in a classroom with my 34
teen-agers eager to see how life turns with a new weird teacher, things simply
began to fall into place. You do your honest day’s work and you get some
surprises. Mine came in the form of me being snagged to coach a radio
broadcasting team bound for the National School Press Conference.
My boss came up to me and told me
to prepare no less than P10,000 for the travel and registration to the Palawan
stint. I was thrilled with the thought of going to a dream world called
Palawan! But I had to decline as I don’t have the money. I couldn’t produce the
money needed even if we were promised a refund from the city local funds.
I told God that if He really
wants me to go He would make me go come what may but if He has a better idea
for me this summer then I wouldn’t mind. He’s God and remains God even if the sweetest of dreams have to crumble to pieces.
And then last Monday, March 20,
my boss came up to me after the nth time and told me, “OK, prepare your things.
You’re coaching the team with me, with or without your 10,000. You should not
decline this offer to come with us. There are others who are dying to come. But
you’re going with us!”
I was dumbfounded. But I heard
him right. God does love me.
You bet, I’m going to
Palawan with the team!
