UNDERNEATH YOUR DOOR

I turned to go
Leaving a letter
Underneath your door.
One summer has gone
But I am still there
Trapped
In the folds of those papers
Underneath
Your door.

KURIS KURIS

Kiwaw ang imong
Unang hangop sa lapis
Hiwi ang mga badlis
Apan duha ang suwab
Sa imong mga kuris kuris.
Ang usa milapos
Sa papel
Ang ikaduha
Milagbas
Sa natrangkahan kong
Kalibutan
Kanhi.

FED BY HIS FAITHFULNESS

May 1 is the beginning of my faith party. It's a party in some abyss where I commune with darkness and perhaps with a pinch of light. I can only do one thing there and that is waiting.

I was given options earning a bit this summer so heads are kept above water. But not even that was part of my agenda, hoping that is what God asks from someone like me doing the faith journey. The odds are countless and, to my estimate, are pretty rough. But some who had waited in the past have been rewarded. I had done some of the most gruesome waitings as well. And through all those, God kept his word.

I don't want any reward for reward's sake. I just need his hand guiding me and my family to where things are in accordance to his will, a place where we are fed by the greatness of his faithfulness.

COLORS WORTH KEEPING DESPITE SPRAWLING OLD JUICY BITS AND PIECES

Ahhh friends, they are a wonder. They are a blend of colors more varied than those of the rainbow.

At times they can be as pesky as the darkest color there is but you adore them anyway. At the most unexpected ways, they just amaze you even with secrets dark or playfully light, secrets they once chose to keep but tell you anyway five or ten years later.

The laughters that follow the pouring in of facts carefully hidden from you are usually unending. But the jolt that the surprise of those supposedly not-so-recent news stunned me and had me immobile for a few seconds while my psyche traveled back in time wanting to sink all those stuff in. Hearing those things gave me a slight pang within knowing things must have gone differently had the confusing messages in the past been well received. As I said, I love my friends dearly. I would have done anything in their favor and doing such will actually become an ultimate happiness in my end.

But some roads have to bend to a certain curve more strangely than expected. I call that the will of a higher being. No matter how things would have swerved interestingly, the life I am made to live right now are in no way comparable to what man can comprehend and prefer. The gifts and favors God have provided me with are beyond imagination.

The juicy bits and pieces that are sprawled before me courtesy of my darling of a friend in Nimfa are of another world meant to fly away in space and never to be grasped by mortal hands.

FROZEN TO THE LAST BIT

One should see every inch of wonder that a child sees even in the most familiar ordinary passing of time.

It is just too bad that all these keenness and sensitivity in a child seem to fly away when one grows older and gets accustomed to the molds of this world--molds that are man-made that snuff out the child in us so early.

But while a mother can, I will shield my Shekinah with the greater Shekinah's grace up there. I will have her see nature and commune with its beauty so that when she grows up, she will keep returning to these wonders.

She, in her young days, embraces the wonder of nature, like water for instance. Two days ago, she was back to the BRIGHT pools, to her beloved swimming with a bunch of her cousins and aunts to frolick with under the friendlier heat of the sun. Ahh, these are the days that I want frozen, every bit of it. I would not in any way exchange these with a single day of pizzazz and glamor anywhere else.

SA IMONG KAHABOG

(courtesy of JBering's shot)



Kung ang tinuod nga katahom

sama sa imong kahabog,

bisan ang mga buling

sa akong kalimutaw

dili kanimu

makasalipod.

PEPPERED WITH JITTERS MESHED WITH BLOODY SWEAT

I am one who gets all the jitters when they are not called for. Job interviews, stage performances, first-day teachings, name it.

Today, I just got off from a minor skin allergy. And then first thing this morning just an hour before the observed teaching demonstrations, my stomach squirmed and burped like an insane dog. It started with minor pains and weird sounds graduating to unbearable pinches in the stomach. I had to flee, get a tissue from a 500-meter-or-so department store then on to a decent restroom. And even when I finally bade adieu to such "stinkiness," some little pains remained.

A few minutes before my 9:45 lesson demonstration, I felt my chest thumping endlessly. My head swirled a bit. And then came my turn.

As always, the inevitable scary teaching demonstration came out well.It did, sweat and all.